Click: The Magic of Instant Connections by Ory and Rom Brafman

Those days when technology and computers can do anything for us ,understanding and controlling the human to human relations keeps being the most difficult task for everyone of us.Every children would like to be the most loved from his parents,every student would like to be the most famous of the class,every manager would want to be loved by his team.

What makes us connect to some people in a very easy way and so difficult to have a relation with some others?

Most of us have had the unusual experience forming an instant connection with someone else within minutes, or even within seconds, of our first introduction

We also may think all those things happen randomly,me too was one of those people thinking this way before reading this eye-opening book.

This book is trying to study and analyze the way we are creating intense and successful connections to other people,Firstly it looked like a romantic guide “How to be successful on dating” ,and going on realized the ways we “click” on bussines ,how "click accelerators" work, how much important is clicking other people and the way it affects our welfare.

I really liked the social experiments they made and the way they are analyzing them.It is interesting how they determine the importance of touch and how it affects relation between team members,or how the guy having the room in the middle of the dormetry was the most famous guy,or how the most vulnerable persons get the most attention,and police officers negotiating with terrorists.

Authors determine 5 main accelerators of clicking:

1. Vulnerability which seems to be the most important and most successful of those accelerators.

(Being vulnerable helps other people to be more confident and make them trust more easily because you are putting yourself in a risk so they tend to react almost the same way by being vulnerable too so this way we are “clicking”.

2. Proximity is also mentioned as a important accelerator

(This means that we are more inclined connecting to people who are nearby,and the interesting experiment with the guys with the room in the middle of the dorm is the best example.We all can can conclude that our best friends are people we are working with or at least people we spend most of the time even though we didn’t choose to stay with them so all we could be a good example for Ori and Rom Brafman)

3. Similarity

(It is obvious that we connet easier with the people who are more similar to us,everyone of us could prove this statemen,however it is interesting how people “click” just because their names are the same,or they are sharing the same date of birth. It appears that for similarity, quantity matters more than quality. It is not very important how deeply people agree, but on how many different topics they agree.

There are two more “click” Accelerators mentioned in the book which I think are more derivates of the three first mentioned above than Accelerators themselves.

4. Resonance

(Is about being present and flow. Just by showing up, asking questions, expressing genuine interest have a higher resonance factor than those who don’t, so all this means that as much you engage with the other situation the more clicking is possible)

5. Safe Place is the final click accelerator

(It means having a clearly defined community, going through an adverse experience with someone, or being part of a defined "in-group” The example of the soldiers being in the same action is a good example wich also leads with the “Proximity”)

And to conclude I don’t think this book is a receipe on how being successful with clicking to other people because of the abstract nature of human behavior, but can help to be better on clicking or to understand the meaning and the importance of click itself.

We click everyday,we click our leaders,we click our subordinates,we click our family members,we click our friends,so all our bussines and personal life deals with click.We must take care to click the best way possible.